Belated Christmas Eve Belly

A belated Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays to everyone!



Christmas Eve belly... I'm seriously kinda skeptical that my belly skin will actually be able to expand further as there is still another 4-7 weeks to go. Oh, and this is my new uniform. Black leggings, black stretchy H&M shirt, sweater or scarf optional.

Also, for the record, I'm doing a pointing dance at the belly... totally NOT giving Kitten baby a rude gesture!



Lowell at Baby Care Class, modelling slings with the other Dads.

Preggo underpants, baby class and Z has a big mouth pt.3

I've had so many things that I wanted to talk about, but apparently preparing to move apartments again, preparing our two foster cats (or are we their "foster humans" since they technically took us into their home) for Israel, early Christmas with Lowell's Fam, going to Doctor's appointments, working and being 7 months pregnant has caused me to ignore the blog.

Okay, so maternity underwear. Something that I thought was completely unnecessary as "My ass hasn't gotten that fat" nor will it get "that fat". I thought buying some more of my really low-cut VS underpants would suffice. And they technically have.... as my ass, while it has gotten fat is not "that fat". However, no matter how low cut the underpants, they just aren't designed quite right. As a result of having to push the front way low enough to sit under the belly, the butt starts to sag and the thigh-holes don't sit right. At least this is what I found was happening with me. I was getting really sick of saggy-ass in my leggings... So I caved and got pregnant underpants and they're lovely.

We had our baby care class earlier this week. It was definitely informative, a little bit overwhelming and also kinda fun. Lowell and I looked like the youngest people there and I'm willing to put money on the fact that he was indeed the youngest person there. It was interesting to see the contrast in lifestyles too... many of the other couples were older and also people who owned big houses (this came up when we learned about having changing stations on "every floor" of your house), owned not just one but two cars (this came up when learning about car seats and installing car seats and some people had the dilemma of "which car do we install it in?") and most of them lived in the suburbs (this came up when we talked pediatricians).

We live in a one bedroom apartment downtown that we rent and have no car. But one of the many things that we learned was that you don't need a huge house to have a baby because you're sticking close to it for the first few months anyway and it's safest for baby to sleep in your room.

So if I had to use one more work to describe baby care class, it was that it was reassuring. While we may not be rich and have a huge house, we can be just as prepared as those other parents! And when Lowell is the same as as that gray-haired man sitting across from us, our Kitten baby will be in its 20's. So we're kinda ahead in that sense, ha!



We were out for dim sum this past weekend and I got yelled at by a stranger because of my big mouth. This kinda trashy looking Mom (yeah, yeah I'm as asshole... but that's the truth, she was kinda trashy looking) got all frazzled with her two girls and SCREAMS into one of their faces "STOP YELLING IN MY EAR!!!". The whole restaurant goes silent, as her shouting was really loud. And who screams in their child's face in public like that??? So I made a snarky remark of "Well that's good parenting right there". And she shoots back at me "You don't have kids, You keep your comments to yourself!" and continued to mutter to herself... So I admit, yeah, I don't have kids and I should have kept my comments to myself. But come on, lady! I don't have to have kids to know that you don't shout in her face... even if you're frustrated or frazzled and she's being a jerk. I don't think this kid was even being that bad, just being a normal kid getting antsy after a long meal. I dunno, maybe it'll change when I have my own kid but I certainly would hope that I never lose my mind like that, in public or at home, and SCREAM in her face.

After they got their bill and were getting bundled up to head back outside, the same Mom also encouraged the kids to do dozens of jumping jacks. Right after eating. I was really kinda hoping that at least one of them would puke all over trashy-Moms ugly shoes.

I've seen so many terrible parents and parents-to-be lately that while it makes me sad for them, it also makes me feel better about my not totally sucking at this Momma thing. I could never imagine screaming in my child's face or calling it names.

53 more days to go wooooop!

Baby Animals

I was ranting about this to Lowell yesterday so I decided to post a list. Did you know that baby eels are called elvers? I didn't.

Actually, this came about because I started calling the Kittenheart my "Cougar cub"... because now that I'm 28 and Lowell is still 23, our age difference totally sounds Cougar-esque again.

Anyway. I find baby animal names fascinating. Ferrets aren't listed, but their babies are called "kits". Like Beaver babies. Did you know that?


Antelope – calf
Bear – cub
Beasts of prey – whelp
Beaver – kit
Birds - fledgling, nestling
Cat – kitten
Codfish - codling, sprat
Cow – calf
Deer - fawn, yearling
Dog - pup, puppy
Duck – duckling
Eagle – eaglet
Eel – elver
Elephant – calf
Elephant seal – weaner hehe.
Fish – fry
Fowl - chick, chicken
Fox - cub, pup
Frog - polliwog, tadpole
Goat – kid
Goose – gosling Speaking of which, who would've thought that Sean from Breaker High would turn into such a heart throb?
Grouse – cheeper
Guinea fowl – keet
Hawk – eyas
Hen – pullet
Hippo – calf
Horse - foal, yearling, or colt (male), filly (female)
Kangaroo – joey Probably one of my all-time favourites. WTF right?
Lion – cub
Owl – owlet
Partridge – cheeper
Pig - piglet, shoat, farrow, suckling
Pigeon - squab, squeaker
Quail – cheeper Seriously? Well that's just adorable.
Rabbit - bunny, kit
Rat – pup
Rhino – calf
Rooster – cockerel
Salmon - parr, smolt, grilse
Seal – pup
Shark – cub
Sheep - lamb, lambkins
Swan – cygnet
Tiger - cub, whelp
Turkey – poult
Whale – calf
Zebra - foal

The Snoogle

A few random thoughts:

We put together our stroller/infant carrier travel system thinger today and the Kittenheart officially has more wheels than we do.

To anyone who plans on being pregnant, don't do it without the Snoogle. At first I thought it seemed silly but about a month ago, I started having trouble getting comfortable when trying to sleep and thought "screw it, I'll but the stupid $60 pillow, can't hurt to give it a go!" and I do not regret it. I don't understand why the website looks like something from the 80's but it doesn't even matter, this crazy snake pillow is awesome. I still have grumpy uncomfortable nights but it's significantly improved. When I finally settle into a good spot with the Snoogle all snoogled up in front and my former long body pillow wedged up behind, it's just HEAVENLY.

I realize that I've been mopey and complaining a lot lately, but I wanted to be clear that as much as I'm any combination of tired, moody, achey, nauseous all the time lately, I'm very excited. I may whine when the baby bops me in the guts - it's a pretty strange yet awesome feeling and I kinda like it. The most surreal part lately is feeling our little drummer girl and knowing she's in there, but not having any idea what she looks like.

I just burped (or maybe hiccuped, who the frig knows?) and barfed in my mouth just a little bit. I'm just glad that the last thing I ate was an Andes mint chocolate and it wasn't totally disgusting puke for once!

sleeping sucks

It's starting to get reeeally hard to sleep. I really miss sleeping on my stomach but I've settled on sleeping on my side, as I've been told I'm supposed to. I wake up to the Kittenheart lodged sideways in my belly, little head pushing out one side, little butt sticking straight out the other and feet kicking under my boobs. It's really fun.

I get into my grouchy half asleep haze and sit up and growl and groan and punch the blankets (according to Lowell). Sometimes I grunt and growl and try to punch him too. The past two nights, I've woken to find myself standing in the bathroom, growling and swearing at the sink. It's weird because I've never been a sleepwalker. I don't remember hoisting myself out of bed or anything. I can't really explain it. I suppose it's been convenient as I have to pee all the time these days.

The otter doesn't really have anything to do with the entry. I just thought he was adorable and one day I'd like to sleep soundly on my belly again like that.

Ultrasound reveals.... kitten PAW

Kittenheart's profile....and a kitten paw! (Do you see it? It's a full on kitty paw coming at her face)

It's official! There is a kitten in there!

To hyphenate or not

Ah the "to hyphenate or not to hyphenate" debate. One of my favourite blogs that I follow, A CUP OF JO, recently did an entry about hyphenating last names. This blog is awesome because she is fantastically stylish and smart and also has a baby in the city.

So to hyphenate or not... Lowell and I have been talking about it a lot lately. The problem is, he's pretty easy-going and will go either way. We're pretty sure that if and when we ever get married in the future, I will keep my own last name. Lowell and I both grew up with different last names as our Mothers so it never seemed like a strange or unusual concept. His Mom decided to keep her maiden name after marriage and my parents were unmarried. However, now that the realization that I'm going to be a Mother has really sunk in, I realize that I quite like the idea of sharing a last name as my child. I never knew my Dad or anyone on his side of the family, so while I like my last name, I have no real attachment to it. I personally think it's a pretty cool sounding last name.... but I don't know one single other person with the same name!

Lowell's family has a cool sounding last name as well. I like the idea of our baby having his last name, but what if I feel left out later on? So in comes the whole hyphenating debate. I'm not opposed to the idea at all, but I don't think that our last names hyphenate particularly well. Both of our last names are pronounced like adjectives, though spelled differently from the actual adjectives. Either way we arrange it, the hyphenated last name winds up sounding like a description... a slightly pretentious description at that!

Man, and I thought coming up with a first name was hard enough!! Now we're waffling on the last name issue too! We really should just call her Kittenheart, one word, no first or last name and call it a day. I'm sure she'd love us for that one when she grows up!

Well, we still have about 69 days to decide. :D

29 weeks & 6 days belly photos

29 weeks & 6 days belly... and my elbow patch sweater!


Big round belly!



Still round belly... non-squirming Kitten baby...





and then now, lumpy moving baby belly! (I should note that I was initially horrified by the "lumpy belly' photos and kept squealing at Lowell after he took them. It was bizarre to see the pics because I had no idea the belly could look for lumpy and uneven! I kept yelling "I don't look like that do I? The belly isn't THAT big is it???" But Apparently, I totally do and yes, it is THAT big.)

Birthday.

In 12 days, I will turn 28 years old. 28! That's the oldest I've ever been! I said that I didn't want anything for my Birthday this year... and that's true, I don't! All of my friends have been so beautifully generous already giving the Kittenheart, Lowell and I so many amazing gifts. I couldn't imagine asking for anything more! But.... if I were allowed to ask for anything , it would be for a maternity winter coat that miraculously doesn't look like a lumpy garbage bag on me and isn't all kinds of ridiculous expensive. And a "Yuzu and Cocoa" bath from Lush (*hint hint Lowell*).

I've always enjoyed celebrating my Birthday. I can recall something special about almost every Birthday.... especially my Birthday cakes. "Chocolate and purple" for 26. Chocolate espresso cheesecake from Dufflet for 24. Alien cat ice cream cake for 22. Crazy delicious chocolate praline feuilletine creation by my Momma for 18. And my favourite was probably the giant pink "8" she made for me when I turned, well, 8.

I wonder what cake I shall have this year... This will be my last Birthday as just me. Most likely my only Birthday I'll celebrate pregnant. By this time next year, the Kittenheart will be almost a year old. Craziness....

Kick counting app

I downloaded a "kick counter" app on my phone to keep track of baby movements. I'm usually pretty picky (paranoid) about downloading stuff but this seemed like it might be useful. From what I've read, Doctors and midwives will sometimes make slightly different recommendations but in general they tell you to look for 6 - 10 good movements every 2 or 3 hours.

Turns out the app was totally unnecessary because the Kittenheart takes after her Drummer Dad and is crazy. super. active. We like to joke that the twins were born at 28 weeks because Lowell was beating the crap out of his Brother in the womb and he wanted out.

Everytime I re-set the time, I reach 6 big kicks within the first half hour. Sometimes within the first 10 minutes. Last night, we sat in bed and I made Lowell stare at the belly shifting around like crazy. It was exactly like that scene in that movie where that Alien thing bursts out of the dude's belly. Exactly like that. It's a totally bizarre feeling... kinda neat because there's this tiny little human squirming around but it also makes me feel kinda skeevy and ticklish and I squeal out loud a lot when I get a big wallop to the front. I have much respect for twin-carrying mommas.... and mommas who are and have been more pregnant than me! I'm barely 30 weeks so that means the Kitten baby still has to more than triple in size! Eugh, Jebus!

Anyway, I do recommend the kick counter app. I got it from the Android marketplace but I'm sure it must exist on iThings. I also recommend the Onavo data tracker and Hungry Shark Part 1 & 2 (my favourite game!). Not Hungry Shark Part 3 though, nuh-uh. I hate the new rival shark in Hungry Shark 3. He's a fucking asshole.

29 weeks: A Kitten Shower

Annie and Jody threw me a shower. I was adamant that I didn't want an overly formal shower or one where boys weren't "allowed". My favourite part of the showers that I've been to has always, always the part where everyone pigged out on lots of FOOD.

So they delivered and there was a ton of delicious food (latkes, sandwiches, veggies and dip, chips and dip, brownies, lemon bars, cupcakes, cookies, coffee, punch, beer....) Ange's Mom brought an amazing chocolatey cake that's still feeding us today. We had chocolate and marble cupcakes and pink or green buttercream (everything from scratch!) for the cupcake decorating station and they also set up a "Onesie" decorating station for everyone to design an outfit for baby. Miss Kittenheart is going to be a well-dressed little kitten baby! Thank you a million times to Auntie Annie and Auntie Jody for putting together the perfect party!

It was an amazing day! Friends and Family all in one place... It was amazing and fantastically touching that so many people made the effort to come. Everyone is so supportive and excited and we're very well-stocked on kittengear due to their generosity. It was more than anything I ever expected the day to be. I normally find the phrase "touched" to be a bit vague and contrived.... but I realized that this was what it feels like to be "touched". A million thanks to all our Friends and Fam. For being awesome to us and for appreciating my "Pigs n' Turds" plate instead of being weirded out by my gross-out humour.











Bean is also still going strong with her uncharacteristically high level of affection towards me. This is her lying on my chest this morning when I woke up. Now that the Kittenheart is super active, Bean's been more attentive to the belly than ever. It's adorable and totally bizarro.

Bigger every week!

One of the Yoga studio regulars said to me today "Whoa! You're getting bigger and bigger every week! How far along are you now?" So I told her that I was 28 weeks.... still quite a lot of weeks to go. And she goes "Oh man! You're soooooo much bigger than you were last week!"

It's a good thing I like her and I was at work because I totally felt the urge to be like "NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!" and boot her in the ass or something. But that wouldn't be very yogic of me now, would it? Ah the joys of being a moody snarky pregnant asshole when you were kind of a snarky asshole to begin with.

28 weeks! It's crazy to think that Kittenheart is now older in gestational age than Lowell and his twin were when they were born! It's somewhat of a comfort I suppose because that means if something were to happen, she could completely grow up to be healthy and normal. That said, I'd like to keep her in for at least another 9 or 10 weeks. Get back to me in 9 or 10 weeks and I'm sure I'll be ready for her to come out already.

Cat bow ties

Well, I may not have anything to nice wear yet to my own shower next week.... but my mission is to make sure Baxter is dressed his best. Since I lost his red and white gingham bow tie years ago, I think it's about time he got a new kitty bowtie, yes?

I'm a crazy cat lady at heart. This should not be a secret to anybody by now.

27 weeks. Cartoon belly.

I'm behind on taking belly photos. I'll get on it soon as I have an awesome new phone with a freakin' awesome camera on it!

Random belly related things to report....

So far no stretch marks! I'm pretty pleased about that. When I had my growth spurt/quit ballet and gained 25lbs at puberty, I got hideously intense stretch marks all up the sides of my thighs and all over my hips... so I thought I was in for it now. But so far, I'm keeping the ol' belly skin lubed and moisturinzed constantly all day and things are looking okay! There's still a lot of stretching and growing left but I'm proud to have made it this far without stretch mark damnit.

I got that crazy dark stripe thing. When I went swimming with Alice, she noticed it. Alice doesn't have the dark stripe thing. I don't understand the point of the stripe thing. It's kinda amusing and strange. It now runs pretty much from the private parts up to almost my boob cleavage area.

Some days when I wake up in the morning, the belly is rock hard. Doesn't hurt or even feel uncomfortable and my Doc says it's normal that the uterus will contract...but it feels totally bizarre from the outside. Lowell calls it's "The shell".

Call me Kittenheart

I have this weird hang-up about telling people what we're going to name the Kittenheart. At first I thought it was pretty normal, but then I talked to some of my Momma friends and Alice, my fellow soon-to-be-Momma friend and realized that apparently I'm the big weirdo for being uber secretive about names. Everyone else seems pretty content to start referring to their baby by name. I don't like doing that. Lowell told his parents the name we were considering and last week his Dad says to us "How's little [insert Kittenheart's most likely "real" name to be here]" and I freaked out. It was a silent freak out in the back seat of the car which I forgot about for 3 days and then belatedly yelled at Lowell about.

I still really like the name but I like the idea of keeping it private until she arrives. I dunno... I have just under 3 months to change my mind about this, I suppose. I have this hilariously awesome nickname so I think everyone should just keep using that instead of her "real" name please. And my writing it here is my passive-aggresive way to not have to bring this up in person to anybody.

In completely unrelated news, I got an iPhone and I hate it. I'm returning it for the Samsung Galaxy S II (or some such nonsensically long name along those lines) because I tried it out yesterday and it's freakin' awesome.

And also, I want that cat.

Biggie biggie biggie

Holy freakin' jesus!!

Today I got on a scale not at the Doctor's office for the first time since being pregnant. It was all because Lowell weighed himself on the fancy futuristic glass scale in the bathroom at our super-lux temporary apartment (more on that later). So I got curious and wanted to try out the fancy futurama scale too, even though I had decided not to weigh myself outside of Doctor's appointment. I joked about how I was probably going to weigh more than Lowell at some point probably hopefully towards the end of the pregnancy.

Well, that day is now. Today is the day I discovered that I now weigh MORE than Lowell. Gah!! I knew this day would come but I thought it'd be sometime in the new year when I felt huge and disgusting. I don't feel that huge yet!

Although.... I think the Kittenheart had a growth spurt this past week because my belly skin was super flaming ITCHY all week to the point where I scratched a big welt near my belly button in my sleep. I've been using my normal lotion as well as lubing up constantly with that greasy, greasy "belly butter" stuff and over the past few days, the itchy tightness has subsided. But then in the past 24 hours, strangers have started to comment on my belly. Like last night, an obviously crazy disheveled man congratulated me on the street. "OH! You... you... ya got a baby in there! Congratulations!"

I've gained about 20lbs, which at almost 6 months along, I'm told by the Internet is quite normal. But now I am officially the heaviest person in the family. Oh man. I wasn't ready for this.

Kittenheart goes to DFA1979

Last night, Lowell and I went to a rock show. Death From Above 1979, one of my favourite bands... even though I only have the one album. They were freakin' awesome!

I still remember Angela introducing them to me the year we were 20, maybe 21 years old? I played that CD in my car for months and went on to put Black History Month and Romantic Rights on pretty much every mixed CD that I'd make for the next 5 years? I have lovely memories of DANCING our faces off at Dance Cave and *shudder* Velvet when the DJs would take our requests for DFA. I never got to see them live before they broke up and then I was all sad last summer when I couldn't afford to go see them at Coachella when they announced they were back together.

But, of course, they wound up doing a tour and I finally got to see them! It was weird being at an all ages show because some of the kids singing along looked like they were 12! That would have made them.... TWO YEARS OLD when the band first existed?!?
We didn't manage to get too close to the stage because I didn't want to get shoved around and the show was LOUD. I was nervous that Kittenheart would be scared or freaked out by the loud music, but my reading assured me that as long as I didn't stand in front of the speakers or something, it was safe. She was definitely responding to the music though, with much flip flopping around throughout the entire show! It was definitely the most consistent movement I've ever felt so far. I think it means she liked it though. Maybe it was a little mix of "WTF"... but hopefully also enjoyment.




I'm thinking maybe no more loud rock shows, just for the sake of baby and for the sake of me not feeling like the oldest person in the room. I was yawning by midnight and we left during the second encore to "beat the crowd".... something I've NEVER done before! *gasp*

24!

24 week Belly. Earlier this week, I went and bought another one of this stripey shirt. Because it's my favourite and the first one somehow got a rip in the back and well, I just wanted to have two of them. I also have 2 pairs of the same stretchy grey "jeggings" things from H & M Mama and the same 3/4 length sleeve cotton top in 2 different colours. It's how I roll. I like having a uniform or the same outfit everyday "like a cartoon character" as Lowell put it.


Family portrait!


Belly's gettin' BIG!

HALP

SO MUCH CAT BARF AND LOWELL'S NOT HOME!!! OH NOOOOO!

Judgey wudgey was a bear

I've had 3 coffee-related beverages this week. Two soy lattes (one from Si and one from Broadview Espresso) and one shitty delicious Tim Horton's coffee. I normally have no more than one coffee or lattes every week or two... but this week, I reverted to my old ways. Well, kinda. I used to drink 3 or 4 coffees a day... so one a day (or every 7 to 10 days) really ain't so bad.

I also ate soft cheese and a raw spicy scallop handroll (not together, duh). My Doc is cool and assures me that all of that stuff, while it should be avoided in large quantities is fine in careful moderation. It's ultimately my personal choice and I should just exercise the same precautions I would when not pregnant. I.e. Don't eat sketchy smelly sushi and maybe don't eat an entire wheel of Camembert because, knocked up or not, it will give you the runs.

I felt guilty about all this but I remember that I am taking my vitamins, trying to eat generally healthy and a bit o' caffeine is technically accepetable. Then the other night, I was leaving the subway and there was another knocked up lady waddling up the stairs ahead of me. She was hugely pregnant though and I was all "Good for her, not taking the elevator!"

Sidenote: Has anyone been to the Walmer exit at Spadina station lately??? What's with the steepest bizillion flights of stairs ever?

Anyway, we reach the great outdoors and she stops pretty much immediately in the doorway and lights up a cigarette. Gross. Suddenly, I was the judgey fellow pregnant lady like the one scowling at me for ordering a latte earlier the same day.

Yeah, yeah, I'm a jerk for judging. I'm pretty sure my reason was better though.

23 weeks 1 day pics

CAN'T... SUCK.... BELLY... IN... ANYMORE! Also regular Yoga pants and t-shirts are starting to be too gapey at the front.



Z n' Bax... 23 weeks, wut wut.



So cuddddley.

Maman kangarou, endorsed by strangers at brunch

Lowell and I were out for brunch the other day at the little diner across the street from our apartment. The place is run by a greek family, the food is hit or miss and the service is almost always bumbling... but there is a certain charm to it. The prices are good and the food is prepared by a bunch of grumpy looking old guys in paper hats and stained white aprons so there's a certain nostalgic feel.

Anyway, at the table next to ours there was a hip looking couple finishing up their meal. I noticed that the man had a teeny baby strapped to him using the Maman Kangarou cloth carriers that I had registered for after my nerdy Internet research. So after a little while, I said to them "I'm sorry to interrupt your meal, but I was wondering how you like that carrier? " Normally I'm always hesistant to talk to strangers as we live very much in a culture where striking up conversations with people you don't know is often not well received. I know I've been on the receiving end of it and more often than not, I wind up being annoyed. I knew if I didn't ask though, I'd regret it.

As it turns out though, lately when it comes to baby stuff, people are always more than happy to take a few minutes to chat. It's been an unexpectedly pleasant part of the whole experience. I can recall countless brunches in similar settings where you're sitting literally half a foot away from a stranger, trying to ignore each other. It's like there's an immediate sense of camaraderie or something once they see your belly. They told me about the different types of carriers they had tried and gave the kangarou two thumbs up. I marvelled at how calm and well-behaved their little 2-month old was. Then we resumed eating side by side and ignoring each other. As they were leaving, we smiled good-bye and Mom came back to our table and says to me "The Epidural is your friend!!" before running off again.

There is no room for the stomach!!!

Today I got the hiccups after drinking 2/3s of my amazing delicious soy latte from Si. (It was my first coffee/latte in two weeks. I needed it, shut up!)

Then all of a sudden a hic turned into a burp-ish thing and I puked in my mouth. It was a little bit of sour coffee and bananas. God freakin' dang it was gross.

Our bodies are such a science experiment! Sciiiiiiiience experiment! Look at that diagram... there is already NO ROOM LEFT FOR THE STOMACH! THERE ARE 119 MORE DAYS TO GO! Where will the stomach contents go?!

cat catcher

This is not completely a pregnancy post! I'm breaking my own rule.

This is from a couple of weeks ago. We met a Cat friend on the way to dinner at "that pho place that isn't the Golden Turtle on Ossington closer to Queen". He had no stranger-danger and a stump tail! Ahhh I love cats. Sometimes when I freak out about never having held a wee young baby, I get reminded that I'm pretty freakin' awesome with catching animals and handling puppies and kittens.. and that must count for something right? Right?

Some photos

This is what I look like 21 weeks pregnant, sleepless and sick with a terrible freakin' cold.



Lowell's stealth post-Thanksgiving photo. This is what I look like checking out Triscuits on sale. Looking huge at 22 weeks and 1 day pregnant with Kittenheart and also carrying a turkey, ham, vegetable, pie and ice cream Thanksgiving FoodBaby.
Seriously. I look we're having twins.



Today I waited too long to eat breakfast when I woke up and had to run to the bathroom puking. While I was doing my disgusting monster pukes, my nose started running down my face and I farted. I was so grossed out and saddened with myself. I finally told Lowell about this 12 hours later and was able to laugh about it. This was after I had to lie down on the bed and ask him to peel my jeans off of my bloated giant legs for me because they had gotten too tight over the course of the day. I'M SO DISGUSTING RIGHT NOW. I used to look good, oh those were the days:

Vain vain vanity shot, oh my.

Shirts

I found a shirt that I had meant to donate to charity because I had accidently shrunk it. It went from a nice long, leggings-length top to a short wide stupid looking top. Apparently I kept it and that's awesome because I can wear it now. It's sufficiently comfy and wide. Score! If I can continue to grow gigantic with only 4 actual "maternity" tops, that'd be awesome. My lovely Momma friend Jenn lent me a HUUUUGE vacuum-sealed bag of maternity clothes to rifle through, which was amazingly helpful. However, most of these clothes were size X-Small. I am not X-Small by any means and certainly not now. Stupid tiny Jenn and her teeny tiny maternity clothes! :D

P.s. I love you Jenn. Also, that vacuum bag contraption is miraculous! Literally an explosion of clothes when I unzipped it! I have no idea how to fit it all back in though...

Thanksgiving Belly & Ice cream turkey

Last night, after we got home from Thanksgiving dinner at Lowell's Parent's house in the Beaches, we went to Shopper's because my inhaler exploded. We're lucky that there is a 24-hour Shoppers Drug Mart near here that NEVER CLOSES. I was walking around the snacky crackers section and Lowell goes "Honey, turn that way" and snapped some photos of me. I didn't really understand what he was getting at but I complied and made some non-squinty, non-stupid faces for the iPhone.

This morning, I remembered that he did this and asked to see the photos. HOLY CRAP JESUS, they were insane. I said to Lowell "I DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT, DO I? My belly isn't that big, is it?!?!" As it turns out, my belly isn't that big yet... but last night's photos were hilarious and perhaps a good projection for what I should look like in a few more weeks. Apparently eating 2 plates of turkey and ham, potatoes and a bunch of assorted veggies, 3 slices of pie and 3 slices of ice cream turkey makes you look 4 weeks more pregnant than you actually are.

Sidenote: The ice cream turkey from Baskin Robbins is hilarious and has become mine and Lowell's Thanksgiving tradition. This year we waited in a huuuuge line-up due to the freakish heatwave and there was only one ice cream turkey left in the freezer. I was sweaty and nervous listening to all the families ahead of us order their scoops and sundaes. I kept muttering "Oh god, what if they want the turkey? Oh man oh man oh man" every time a new person reached the front of the line. Lowell suggested I wait outside but I couldn't leave him alone with the ice cream turkey anxiety. I swear if anyone ahead of us had gone for our ice cream turkey, I would have fought them for it. What we should have done was call ahead to have it reserved, but it was way more exciting this way.

In related news, I took the above photo of our ice cream turkey with my iPad. I decided to bring the iPad with me so I wouldn't feel left out when we inevitably reached the point in the evening when everyone in Lowell's family starts to play with their Apple toys. Usually I'm all left out with my malfunctioning BlackBerry while everyone shows off their hilarious new apps that make Grandma's talking sound like rapping or boring photos look fabulous. But not this gathering! This time I had my giant clunky iPad that I still really have no idea how to use!

I'm a bit sad that we didn't get to take leftover ice cream turkey home... to make turkey ice cream sandwiches...

Anyway... back to belly talk. Seeing photos of myself continues to surprise me these days. To me, my belly still feels mostly like my belly but it's sneaky and really starting to grow bigger and bigger.

I was going to take a "normal" sans Food Baby photo of the belly today to post along with the Thanksgiving Baby belly. But then I ate half a blueberry pie so that photo will have to wait. I'll post the pics eventually.... This was an anti-climatic build-up to no Thanksgiving Belly photo, sorry.

Week 22: ITCHY BELLY

My belly skin is uncomfortable today. It's a strange feeling to be constantly aware of your belly button all day long... it feels tight and rather itchy, almost achey. Just last week I was telling Alice that my belly wasn't itchy like hers was yet. This week, it SO totally is! But not like, normal "scratch it and it goes away" itchy. Whatever the "itch" equivalent to a dull ache is. A persistent tingley stretchy sensation maybe? Slathering Charity Pot lotion and Mange too bar from Lush all over the belly temporarily soothes the stretchy-tingley (and makes the belly smell like delicious, delicious cocoa butter) but it only kinda helps. And holy fricken jebus this is just the start... there are so many more MONTHS of stretchy-tingley to go! Pregnancy is such a freakin' science experiment.

Sophie the Giraffe: What's her deal?

No one ever actually leaves me comments here, so I should probably address this on the ol' Facebook or Twitter.... but what is the deal with this "Sophie the Giraffe" character??? Wikiepedia has not offered much useful insight.

A bunch of the "what to register for" lists that I read had this Sophie the Giraffe thing on their lists. I snooped a bunch of registries (people I know and strangers) and everybody had this freakin' Giraffe thing on their registries! Lindsay and I investigated when we were at the store and we didn't get it. It's a large plastic Giraffe that costs about 7 times as much as other toys and teethers. It's kinda large and freaky looking, though admittedly, Giraffes have always freaked me out. I have this crazy OCD where I want to have two of every trinket so in case I lose (for example) a favourite cat-head pacifier, I have a back-up cat-head pacifier at home. I do not want to have 2 giant plastic expensive Giraffes.

Mommas... what's the deal with this Sophie the Giraffe dude? I asked Lowell if we should put one on our registry since "everyone else was doing it?" and he looked at me like I was insane. Why is she so popular? Is she magic and do I need one because EVERYONE else has one and is in on the secret and I am a bad Momma-to-be for denying Kittenheart a Giraffe? Is she just famous for being famous? Because if this thing is the Paris Hilton of baby stuff, I don't want it.

hot rod

Got caught eating a disgusting Hot Rod in public. Hey, I had a post-cold craving.

Mama Pants. Better than I thought possible!

I never did get around to writing about how thoroughly pleased I was to discover that normal looking, dare I say "stylish" maternity clothes exist. I should also mention AFFORDABLE and stylish maternity clothes, because I've seen some amazing stuff at some online boutiques but I am certainly NOT spending $200 on a sweater or pair of Citizens of Humanity jeggings with the sweatpant waist that I won't be able to wear again next year!

Now, I'm no fashionista but I'm pretty set in my ways and I know how I like to look and dress. I'm probably far from fashionable and anything "trendy" that I wind up with usually happens by fluke. Example, when the "military" look came about and I was still wearing the same old green "military" jacket from my last year of high school. Bahaha "Where did I get my coat, Girl on the TTC? I got it from the year 2002! Bahaha!"

A couple of weeks ago, Lowell's Mom very, very generously offered to take me shopping for maternity clothes. She seemed so into the idea, it was amazing and heart-warming. I on the other hand was a jackass and initially dreaded the idea. I've never liked shopping and imagined us going into stores such as Thyme and Motherhood Maternity and me scowling at turtlenecks, floral prints and MOM PANTS. My goal was to stay in my own clothes or keep buying things that I could still wear when I lost the gut. However, pants were becoming increasingly uncomfortable even with the Bella Band (life saver!) and I was living in yoga pants and a single pair of jeans, my stretchy Second brand Yoga Jeans. So I figured it wouldn't hurt to take a look. I was skeptical though.

We arrived at the Eaton Centre and Lowell's Mom was all excited. She had all boys so she had never really done the girly shopping trip. It was cute because she insisted on picking me up even though our apartment is literally a 6 minute walk to the mall.

Anyways, as it turns out, after the recent renovations, the only teeny tiny selection of maternity clothes left in the entire mall was a teeny tiny hidden corner in H&M! My spirits lifted a bit as I realized that I liked a lot of the clothes at H&M! I was thoroughly impressed that instead of the frumpy old-lady styles I had expected, much of the selection was the same as their regular clothes... just with the handy stretchy waistband slapped on top of the regular jeans.

There were stripey shirts galore AND the elbow patch sweater that I had my eye on in the regular section came in a wider "Mama" version. H&M Mama, I was very impressed with you. I came away with an entire sack of NON UGLY clothes that I could probably wear again when non pregnant, including my previously mentioned current favourite stripey white top. I honestly plan on living in that shirt, I don't care if I look crazy wearing the same clothes everything. This is as long as it continues to be miraculously stain-repellent (I'm constantly spilling things all over my gut lately) and withstands the constant washing and drying that I'm subjecting it to.

Lowell's Mom generously insisted on paying for everything, which made my normally robot heart weepy. And I've since gone back and bought another pair of my now favourite stretchy skinny jeans as they are uber comfortable, look exactly like my "normal" pants and only cost 40 bucks! I love these pants because they actually have pockets and a fake fly and everything along with the comfort of the stretchy belly-holding, buttcrack-hiding top. I hope to be able to wear them for the whole pregnancy. Hopefully things keep going as they have been and the only significant growth will be in the belly and boobs. I'd like it if my ass doesn't get toooooo fat (of course, I'm totally okay if it does).





Too bad I'm not one of those popular "Mommy bloggers". If I were, I'd totally keep plugging how much I LOVE H&M Mama and hope that they would send me shtuff!

P.s. Minor thing that might be a piss off... that model isn't pregnant, is she? That's totally a fake belly stuffed in her shirt... OR she's the slimmest non-puffy (even for a model) pregnant lady that I've ever seen and I'm jealous!

Don't mess with me Pt 2: Shut up, Loud Neighbours

Update from previous entry: I am now full on sick with a cold. I feel like crap. I'm annoyed at myself for finally succumbing to this cold that's been going around for weeks. So why am I awake now at 4:01 a.m.?

Our lovely neighbours decided they were going to have a Wednesday night party. Hey, whatever, they're young and probably don't have class or work until late in the day. I don't have to go to work until 4 p.m. myself so party on, who cares? Except they were being fucking loud on their patio... Which faces onto the echo-ey echo-ey courtyard that we all share. I kept trying to sleep through their music and loud talking and drunken sing-a-longs and then I finally had enough and made Lowell call the front desk. That of course didn't do anything so after laying there fuming for 15 more minutes, I got dressed and went to confront them myself. Normally I may have just let it go and tried to sleep through it... but being sick and cranky and maybe pregnant and protective too made me spring into action. For some reason, the song that pushed me over the edge was Hello Time Bomb.

I get dressed in a huff... Lowell scrambles to put clothes on too. I insist that I don't need his help but knew he was spying on looking out for me from our front door (Poor Lowell... ready to do damage control as his mouthy moody pregnant girlfriend barrels into the hallway to confront drunk frat boys ay 3a.m.) I knock on the jackass neighbour door. No answer. I knock again more agressively. I see shadows in the peephole and hear whispering. No answer. I say out loud "Hi, I can see you through your peephole". No answer. I say "I'm not going away..." and finally Mr. Ryerson University in his little short sleeve collared button down and khaki shorts opens the door.

I say something along the lines of "Hello, I'm your neighbour and I don't mean to be an ass, but it's very late... I'm pregnant and sick and have to go to work in a few hours (yeah, I lied) and your music is very loud." I was completely passive aggressive and patronizing throughout our brief conversation ("Don't get me wrong man, I love me some old Matt Good too... just maybe not at 3a.m.) and he was completely over the top and insincere with his apology ("I'm very, very sorry we got you out of bed but thank you for coming and speaking to me yourself instead of involving security or the police") but the end result was that they turned off the music and took the party indoors. And I felt vindicated and was quite smug about how I handled the situation. And now I sit awake and still unable to sleep because I'm congested, achey and feel like ass. But I'm doing this in silence and it's just lovely.

YOU'RE WELCOME, other neighbours who wouldn't go deal with the situation but were no doubt annoyed too unless you are deaf or retarded.

Asthma Doctorb

I think I'm getting sick. This is a whole new World of Suck.

I blame it on the waiting room at the breathing doctor yesterday. SO MANY COUGHING WHEEZY DYING SICK OLD PEOPLE IN THERE. Fucking hell, I should have worn just worn a mask. Or THEY should have worn one of the masks provided instead of wheezing and hacking all over each other.

Besides the thoroughly unpleasant waiting room full of nasty sick oldies and a man with rotten toenails, my new respirologist, Dr. Day was awesome. My regular doc had mentioned when I first got pregnant that 1/3 of women found that their asthma got better, 1/3 stays the same and 1/3 get worse with pregnancy. I hoped and hoped to be in the first 2/3s... but, of course, guess which 1/3 I fell under. Yeah. So 24 hours and only one sleep after my loooong-ass first consult, my breathing was better than ever already. I actually slept through the night until my 4:30am pee break! No waking up to voilent coughing wheezing attacks! However, I now have a raging sore throat, can't stop sneezing and feel like death. Or maybe my body's going into shock from being able to take in normal amounts of oxygen again.

An interesting note, my breathing doctor says to me yesterday "I bet you're having a girl." before I told her that we "most likely" knew the gender already. Apparently almost all of her pregnant lady asthmatics who's asthma worsens with pregnancy wind up to be carrying girl babies. Curious!

My Momma and me

It's completely stupid and I am a ridiculous human being for doing this, but I didn't tell my Momma that I was pregnant until this past Friday.
My Mom and I have had a tumultuous relationship over the past, oh, 27 years. Maybe 24 years, since I don't think I started giving her a hard time until I was 3 years old. There's a story that I've heard so many times that I'm convinced that it's a memory:
My Mom and 3 year-old Z played a game of chicken... I had decided that I was moving out. I demanded a $2 bill (Canada in the 80's!) and a TTC ticket, put on my snowsuit and asked my Mom to let me out the backyard door, which faced onto a main road. I had to ask her because I did not know how to open that door. She let me walk to the bus stop, which was only a few houses down. I stood there at the bus stop, staring at her staring at me from the house. I was probably terrified that a bus would actually pull up. Five minutes passed, other people showed up at the stop and wondered about this little kid standing there alone. And then the McNicoll Ave bus showed up...... and my Mom caved and came running out of the house to get me. I sooooo won that one! HA!

So back to this Friday. I had been avoiding my Mom's emails asking me when In October or November I would go visit her. She's been living in Hong Kong taking care of my grandparents who are both quite ill right now. Originally there was talk of her coming in September, which is what spurred this whole "I'll wait to tell my Mom in person!" idea in the first place. I figured if she was coming in September anyway, why bother telling her big news like this over email? Then my Grandma got scheduled for surgery so my Mom started asking if I could go there.

I was hesistant to agree because while I know it's perfectly safe to fly while pregnant, I kinda hated the idea. Plane rides are pukey hell for me at the best of times and the thought of being jammed into a tiny seat for 14 hours, nauseous, ankle-swelley and sciatic-nervey back-achey sounded awful. So what did I do? I avoided the issue. I stopped responding to my Mom's emails. Then I stopped opening them at all because if I never read her worried messages then they probably weren't real.
My Mom and I only recently reconciled this summer after a few year long seperation that involved only the occasional Birthday e-card.... I reasoned to Lowell that I could be Mother-less again, right? Maybe she never even had to know! He let this go on for a few weeks until my Mom emailed him, concerned that I had died or did something stupid and was avoiding her. So we scheduled a Skype chat and after numerous shrieking and whining fits from me leading up to said Skype chat, I realized that I am NOT a teenager anymore and that being pregnant is perfectly acceptable and that I had to just tell my Mother.

So we told my Mother. She was pretty shocked as I've gone my entire life telling her that she'd never be a Grandma. I had assured her before she left Toronto in June that I still had no intention of ever having kids, ever. Just like I've always said my entire life. She asked me if I was sure and I said "Of course! No kids! Ever!". Then she made an offhand comment about why I was wearing a push-up bra in the middle of summer to which I was like "I hate push-up bras, what are you talking about... crazy woman!" What no one knew at the time, except apparently for my cat Eileen was that I was already knocked up. Ooops.

Anyway, now that I've told my Mom, I feel a lot better. Like a big weight has been lifted because I was stressed out about how she was going to take it. She was understandably shocked and then even she had a hard time hiding the fact that she was excited, even though she was trying to play it cool.
As much as I don't necessarily like being "mothered", lately the idea of getting all the help that we can get has been appealing and I've found myself wanting my Mommy. She's promised to come in February when the Kittenheart arrives and I'm actually excited for this! Tumultuous or not, I love my Momma and she loves me. After we got off the phone/Skype, it all of a sudden felt more real than it ever has! We are having a baby and everybody important knows now.